So far, I've:
-reserved the church
-picked out bridesmaids dresses (ish)
-decided what I'm going to wear
-decided what the boys are going to wear
-picked out a cake that I like (though I have not found anyone to make it)
-picked out what kind of flowers I like (though I have not talked to anyone about making that happen)
And considering I have 483 days until all of this has to come together, that's pretty good. But if I go by theknot.com's checklist, I have completed 7 out of 182 things on the to-do list. Being the procrastinator that I am, I know I'm going to need all 483 days to make this happen.
I've been to two dress stores. One was just for fun (and turned out to be not fun) and the other was just to ask a question. This is where I've decided that I do not like planning a wedding. Just the act of being in the store makes me sweat. And then the questions make me want to run away. Because, like I've said before, I have no idea. I was not the little girl that always dreamed of her wedding day. I did not collect clippings of wedding details that I would die without. Heck, I barely paid attention to any of the details in all of the weddings I've been a part of for the past 5 years. All I can see in my head is that the weddings were pretty and sweet, but I don't know what kind of flowers we carried or what kind of food was served at the reception.
I know that weddings don't just happen, but I really wish that I could say I like these colors and I want everyone to have a fabulous time at the reception. Because all I really care about is the walking down the aisle to Matt part. After that, you guys can throw your own party and we'll just come to it. Wouldn't that be nice?
I own one bridal magazine, have a "pocket" binder that was given to me for wedding stuff, and the internet. These are my only anti-bride tools. And the magazine came in handy; I saw a cake that jumped out at me and voila! I have my wedding colors.
What I need is a wedding planner. Which makes me feel like a spoiled brat. But I'm totally willing to take a cut elsewhere so that we can fit a planner into the budget. If I could sit down with someone and tell them exactly, and in no detail, what I'm thinking and they could just make it happen. It would be magical.
Luckily for me, Matt has absolutely no opinion on anything wedding. I asked him about a tux yesterday and he said pretty much whatever. Which, I guess, is a lot better than having him involved in every detail, but dude, I'm as clueless as he is.
Now, I'm going to tell you about my two dress shop experiences. If you do not want to read about my complaining of one, just stop here. Because I'm about to go bridezilla on this store.
David's Bridal is a great option for a tight budget. They've got dresses that feel like paper but look great in pictures. You can get a dress for as little as $99, but buy a veil that costs more than the dress. Its pretty much the Walmart of dress shops. But my point is not about the quality of their merchandise, but the quality of their staff.
Emily and I went to David's about a month ago. It was totally for fun, definitely not for serious, but I pretty much had to sign my life away as well as my first child's just to look at any dresses. I had to register before I could walk 10 feet into the store. And by register, I mean: email address, home phone, cell phone, home address, wedding date, wedding budget, matt's email, phone, address, where we worked, how long we'd been together. Were they planning on doing a background check? Your dress costs less than our cell phone bill. And I'm not giving you my email address.
So after filling out all of the required paper work, we were finally released to the dresses. Of which, there were about 3 styles to pick from in my size. All of the doctor's office paperwork for this?
We had a sales rep follow us around the store in case we tried to stuff any crinolin gowns into our purses. The woman was nutzo. She shooed me to a fitting room and then proceeded to throw dresses over the door with so much sparkle and flare that I thought I might get sick on the dresses. And this was after I told her that I'm a very simple, no mess dress kind of girl. Stood outside of the door and made me come out in every dress. I wanted to cry. Finally, after about 30min of fashion show, I told her that before I could do anything, I really needed my mom. And at that point, I really needed my mom in the five-year-old spending the night at a friends house for the first time kind of way. Mommy, please help me escape this wedding hell bliss.
I thought I was home free. Emily was laughing at my agony (and you can't blame her, it was humorous) while I was scurrying to disassemble the iron maiden bra they had me in and put on some semblance of real fabric. I broke out of the fitting room and tried to make a mad dash for the door while our sales rep was tending to the dresses, but she caught me. Before I could even leave the store, they made me schedule a return appointment with her so I could bring my mom back. Like I said, signed my life away. So, I scheduled the appointment knowing that I would never return, and sprinted for the door. Such a bad first wedding planning experience.
Obviously, the sales tactic works with people, or David's Bridal would be out of business, fast. If the whole world were like me, though, the sales tactic would be you're either going to buy a dress or not, and nothing I do or say or bring you is going to change that. I'm the kind of person that likes walking in a store all sweaty and nasty, knowing that the sales reps are going to look away and pretend I'm not there. That's my shopping tactic. Don't talk to me, I'll find it myself, and I am very much okay with making my own decisions without your opinion.
Needless to say, the David's Bridal experience definitely altered my view of wedding planning. Now, every time I need to get something done or talk to someone regarding the wedding, I immediately imagine myself caged up in a fitting room desperately trying to get out.
Besides the fact that I'd like a wedding planner so I don't have to deal with it, I'd also like to plan everything and tell no one what the plans are. I don't want anyone to know what I want because I really like it, so I don't want any negative feedback or subliminal I-don't-like-that-suggestions. On the wedding day, it can just be like surprise! and everyone will be having too much fun to care about the colors or the flowers or the cake or the music or the dresses or the tuxes.
My second dress shop experience was truly wedding magical. Like I said earlier, I just went in to ask a question and check out bridesmaids options. I did not expect my hardened anti-bride heart to swoon. But I'm going to save that story for a later date.
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