Friday, April 22, 2011


In the midst of a hustling, crazy life lately, I forgot to wish my blog a happy birthday. It's now an entire year old, and full of a lot of random thoughts. What my blog began as, it still is. And, although it's experienced a lot of changes, I think its grown a lot. I'm proud of it. I think I might let it start dating or get its driver's license this year.

In addition to forgetting my beloved blog's birthday, I've also neglected to visit much these past few weeks. While my mind constantly thinks about things that I could feed it, I haven't been able to flesh out any of these thoughts.

So, without further procrastination, a list of random things learned this year (infused with my craziness, of late):

Wear a bra
Although I do support the proud to be free movement, in most cases, it is always appropriate to wear a bra. It is not always appropriate not to wear a bra. Be on the safe side: wear a bra.

Speak your opinion
If you have a considered, well-thought-through opinion, say it. People respect an opinion that holds its own ground, regardless of the mouth from which it was born. If you have an opinion about everything, and you think its been thought through, and you tell everyone and anyone who will listen--well, we all know that those opinions get flushed. So, pick your battles. And once you decide what you really care about, there the opinion may form.

Be strong
While I constantly battle with the dilemma of personal struggle or public struggle, the struggle in itself must be faced with strength.

Adults get acne, too
"My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne." If you haven't read Tina Fey's new book Bossypants, it is a must. Our bodies do a great job of telling us how we feel when we don't know it. I've had more zits this year than I did in my entire youth, but I'm happy.

Good friends are hard to find
But easy to keep (if they really are good).

Don't be afraid to condiment
I love ketchup. And honey mustard, and ranch dressing, and bbq sauce. If you are using it, chances are whatever you are dipping isn't really good for you either. I condiment whole-heartedly.

I just had a horribly embarrassing phone conversation with a man who I presume is from India. And I couldn't understand him. He was speaking English, but with a thick accent. We eventually decided to communicate via the phonetic alphabet table (a as in alpha, b as in beta, etc.) Even still, couldn't quite get it. I think it embarrassed me as much as it did him. Enunciate.

When its hard, we want to run. Stay. Every day, we are put in situations that are challenging and uncomfortable and we make the choice to stay or go. When we stay, we learn something.

Always feel good in your shoes
This could totally be a precursor to a "walk a mile in his shoes" story, but its not. Shoes can make even the dullest wardrobe fabulous.

Humility is the best policy
I just spent 5 hours with a lady in my Remicade room who stunk to the high heavens. I don't know if I didn't notice this when she came in, but I woke up several times during my very expensive nap thinking that it was me. It wasn't, but it left me thinking about all the reasons why this woman smelled so bad. She looked clean. And as I looked at stinky lady, asleep in her chair, blood infusing into her IV, I stopped and slapped myself on the wrist (very quietly, so not to wake her). I don't know where she came from or why she's here or why she might possibly stink so bad--there could be a million bad reasons that eclipse anything I've ever experienced. Be humble, even when they're stinky.

Be a hugger (or become one)
A heart-to-heart, ear-to-ear, wrap-around embrace is the way to go. None of that one arm, pat on the back shit. Hug people like your mama hugs you. Hug the people you love.

On a bad grammar day, stay away from pens and keyboards
There is a big difference between sale, sell, and sail. In my head, they sound different, but in most East Tennesseeans' heads, they are all interchangeable. If you can't tale the difference, 'ought to stay away from 'em today.

It's better if you care
This policy is fluent for every possible task in life. If you care, you'll even do it for free.

Being a nun isn't for everyone
While my Poppy will probably be forever disappointed that I'm not going to become a nun, he's also pretty glad that I have no face tattoos or children. There are a thousand reasons to consider being a nun, and there's usually one big one holding a stop sign.

In direct conflict with the earlier lesson Stay, any self-respecting adult has to consider the option of going. Sometimes it just doesn't fit.

Donald Trump probably shouldn't be our next President
Sure, he has great hair and a lot of money. He talks a pretty mean game, too. I'm just not so sure we want him to go around firing all these people that just got their jobs back.

Figure out a way to pray
To whomever you please.

Reckless abandon (pt.1)
Every now and then, you've got to let the responsible side of you take a back seat. Have fun and laugh a lot.

Reckless abandon (pt.2)
Don't let the guilt of your irresponsible behavior tarnish the good time.

Be still
At every possible opportunity. Stop talking, stop thinking, stop moving. And, if at all possible, try not to be still in front of a TV.

It's okay to cry
I'm about 3 months overdue for my good cry, and I keep waiting on it to show itself. So, watch out.

Play with a kid
If you're having a bad day, find a kid to play with. Unless they've failed a spelling test, they are usually fairly consistent with their positive energy. And they love anything having to do with a ball.

Play with a dog
If you're having a bad day, find a dog to play with. Unless they've just been to the vet, they are usually fairly consistent with their positive energy. And they love having anything to do with a ball.

No matter how old you are, you can always play. As adults, we forget that this is a socially acceptable action. Go outside, take off your shoes, and play.

Be nice to yourself
Some days, you might be the only one. If you wake up every morning and look in the mirror and say, "E GAD! What the hell is that?" you aren't being very nice to yourself. Someone once told me to take care of my hair as if it were a fine piece of silk--what about the rest of me?

As a runner with runner's feet, I've always got calluses and blister's and extra skin. Polished toes are a great distraction to any foot malady.

Your parents love you
More than anything else in existence.

Boots are always in season
Especially in East Tennessee, apparently.

Eat sugar
Despite the facts about sugar that my loving fiance has attempted to spread like a Jehovah's Witness, I can appreciate a little sugar in my diet. While I wouldn't recommend using it like Paula Deen uses butter, I think its all about portion control these days.

Such an insanely hard concept. I choose to prioritize using the following criteria: What I care about most, What needs to be done the soonest, What someone else cares about most, and What is going to be late tomorrow. "Lesson learned? When people say, 'You really, really must' do something, it means you don't really have to. No one ever says, 'You really, really must deliver the baby during labor.' When it's true, it doesn't need to be said."

Rejoice for your friends
Be as truly happy for them as they are for themselves. It can be hard, but if you will smile and laugh as they smile and laugh, you'll fall right into it.

Be happy
Every day, find something to be happy about. Happy about what you see, hear, touch, feel, smell. And even if you're not really happy, you are training yourself to find it. Happy day.