Lately, there's been a storm of "How To Mother" articles swirling around the internet. The "Are You Mom Enough" article that has graced the cover of Time magazine, complete with the hot 26-year-old mom with a 3 year old attached to her nipple, is causing uproar among seasoned moms everywhere.
I am not a seasoned mom. I'm technically not even a mom yet. Not legally, anyway. But I'm only about 2.5 weeks from meeting the little human that's been growing inside of me, so I'm going to go ahead and claim my mom-ness.
The recent firestorm of mom-ranting has made me very thankful that I've failed to research every aspect of pregnancy and beyond. Matt and I do not have an established parenting game plan. We were just planning on winging it. Loving E and giving her as much love as we can and taking every step as it comes.
All of the "Mom Enough" discussions put me a little on edge as a first-timer. I grew up in a house that didn't follow a parenting plan. In reality, we didn't really follow any plans at all besides the survival plan. The hope-we-can-get-to-the-grocery-store-sometime-this-week plan. We played outside a lot and ate a lot of popsicles. We slept in our own beds and mom tried to get us to take a nap every day. We used a lot of bandaids.
Almost 9 months ago when Matt and I started this process of becoming parents, we let ourselves get wrapped up in a birth plan. An ideal situation for us that would involve the least medical intervention possible. We went to Bradley Method classes for 12 weeks (which were…whoah…a lot of information) and wrote our own birth plans and got set on what we wanted the birth experience to be. And E is very stubbornly breech.
So, all previous plans out the window, we scheduled a c-section for May 30th. And its taken me about a month to be okay with this plan. I have mourned the labor I'm not going to get to experience. I've gone to the chiropractor, I've taken baths with icepacks on my belly, and I've done a million downward facing dog poses--this baby is comfortable where she is.
But she's healthy and she's getting fat! And she's about to make her appearance in this world one way or another. So the c-section will not be my birth or parenting failure. It can still be the joyful, beautiful birth experience we were planning on.
A plan of any kind opposes my natural personality. I'm surprised I let myself get wrapped up in a "birth plan" in the first place. The firestorm of "Mom Enough" discussions have made me very aware of my reluctance to establish a parenting plan in my own home. We can only do what makes sense to us. Breastfeeding until our child can walk up to me and verbally request it probably won't make sense to us.
What does make sense is taking all of the wonderful parenting examples that Matt and I have been exposed to throughout our lives and applying them to our own parenting practice.
At week 38, I can feel her practicing breathing inside of me. Of all the things I've felt her do, this is the coolest! Soon, she will take her real first breath. I am equal parts ready and excited to meet her and not be pregnant anymore. Matt is ready for me to not be pregnant anymore, too.
But pregnancy has not been a total bust for us. It wasn't until week 37 that I was TOTALLY over it. Part of that is due to the fact that I can't run anymore. I'm just unable to ask my body to do it anymore without sending it into labor. And so, I need pregnancy to be over now. I'm ready to feel normal again and not tired. And I'm really ready to be a somewhat fun person again - I know that my friends are over it, too.
Plus, I just don't think that I'm one of those women who are euphoric in pregnancy. It is amazing, yes. But, I like being not pregnant more than I like being pregnant. Matt says that people stare at me in public like I'm a mystical creature. Let's be done with that.
Our house is finally ready to welcome E as well!
The "nursery" before we started working on it.
The finished product :)
We are ready!
And I am ready to be a mom.